Sometimes I just don’t know what the world is coming to. First, there was the conundrum that is the massive popularity of the Kardashian clan, a family devoted to plastic surgery, nasty sex tapes, and marriages that look suspiciously like publicity stunts. A mother who pimps out her daughters for fame and profit. How enterprising.
And now–good grief–a global merchandising license for The Trilogy that Dares Not Speak Its Name in My Presence. Yes, boys and girls, you will soon be able to sleep between 50 SoG sheets, apply 50 SoG blush and lipstick, adorn yourself with 50 SoG jewelry, spritz on 50SoG scent, decorate your house or apartment with 50SoG home furnishings, slip into 50 SoG lingerie and purchase 50 SoG-themed ”adult products for adult women.” Hmmmmmm.
Give me a frickin’ break. As someone pointed out, it’s one thing for your youngster to have a Harry Potter poster on the wall or a Katniss Everdean comforter on the bed. We expect this sort of merchandising for popular franchises such as these which are aimed at kids and teens. Heck, we fangurlz and boyz of a more mature age are eager to get our hands on a Thorin action figure, right?
However, 50 Shades clearly ain’t for kiddies. I am more than a bit disturbed at the thought of an image hanging in my bedroom of Christian Grey wielding his belt and tie while wearing a sadistic grin on his face. Personally, it would be the stuff of nightmares. But that’s just me.
Still, we all know this Shlock Fiction is a huge cash cow and, clearly, E.L. James and Company are going to milk this baby for all it’s worth.
With 13 million copies sold here in the U.S. alone, I ‘m sure there’s a market for the merchandise . . . in fact, I’m surprised she and her literary agent didn’t ink a deal earlier. Then again, she was busy with that $5 million movie deal. Oh heavens. There will be merchandise tied in with it as well, probably . . .
An officially licensed speader bar and your own Ana handcuffs for your Red Room of Pain, anyone?