(I wrote this as a salute to the effect he had on me and quite a few others after seeing and hearing Mr. A at last year’s Hobbit press conference ~)
There are some who eschew guys who pass up a razor,
Preferring a clean-shaven face.
As for me, I don’t agree.
I don’t think it’s so weird to fancy a gent with a beard;
Facial hair—oooh, that air of masculinity!
That alpha maleness lurking in the vicinity
Of a handsome hirsute face
makes one’s heart quicken its pace . . .
(Downy-cheeked lads just lack a certain—virility.)
And when the beard that’s sprouting out
Graces not some average lout
But Our Man who outshines all the rest of ‘em. . .
Hip, hip hooray! Oh, glorious day!
Mr. A, you rock that beard, I have to say.
When we first caught a glimpse of The Hirsuteness
Bearded Beauty extraordinaire,
what gorgeousness was there!
What a sexy, sexy beast we saw in you, my dearest Armitage . . .
At that table you dominated,
For your words our breath was bated,
as we waited, anticipated the Bearded Beaut.
(You sexy brut!)
Still, just watching gave us pleasure—
The Little Black Shirt encased our Biceped Treasure
Sitting so still and so attentive as others chattered.
And when your question came,
(darling girl, why a query so—lame??)
Sexy Rich, you did not disappoint us.
Deep blue eyes flashed ‘neath bold brows
Deep, dark voice, tinged with a growl!
White teeth gleamed–that wolfish smile–
Crinkled brow, that teasing style—
Hearts palpitated for quite a while . . .
The Bearded Beaut, a bit flirtatious,
a bit sarcastic, a little dang’rous,
You proved your point, proved it so well—
Such gravitas! Such—regal-ness—
You owned the room,
You wowed the geeks! They must confess . . .
That PJ’s Pick has the finesse
To strut his stuff (OMG, you’re really BUFF! But I digress . . .)
As alpha dwarf, you’ll reign supreme!
The finest dwarf Middle-Earth’s ever seen.
O Bearded One, you I adore,
And when you shave that chin once more
And bid farewell to your lovely beard,
Some will likely feel a little blue, ‘tis true,
For the beard has grown on us,
As well as you.
(But it looks better on you . . .)
(photos/screencaps courtesy of RANet)