Sometimes I just don’t know what the world is coming to. First, there was the conundrum that is the massive popularity of the Kardashian clan, a family devoted to plastic surgery, nasty sex tapes, and marriages that look suspiciously like publicity stunts.  A mother who pimps out her daughters for fame and profit.  How enterprising.

And now–good grief–a global merchandising license for The Trilogy that Dares Not Speak Its Name in My Presence.  Yes, boys and girls, you will soon be able to sleep between 50 SoG sheets, apply 50 SoG blush and lipstick, adorn yourself with 50 SoG jewelry, spritz on 50SoG scent, decorate your house or apartment with 50SoG home furnishings, slip into 50 SoG lingerie and purchase 50 SoG-themed “adult products for adult women.” Hmmmmmm.

Give me a frickin’ break. As someone pointed out, it’s one thing for your youngster to have a Harry Potter poster on the wall or a Katniss Everdean comforter on the bed. We expect this sort of merchandising for popular franchises such as these which are aimed at kids and teens. Heck, we fangurlz and boyz of a more mature age are eager to get our hands on a Thorin action figure, right?

However, 50 Shades clearly ain’t for kiddies. I am more than a bit disturbed at the  thought of  an image hanging in my bedroom of Christian Grey wielding his belt and tie while wearing a sadistic grin on his face. Personally, it would be the stuff of nightmares.  But that’s just me.

Still, we all know this Shlock Fiction is a huge cash cow and, clearly, E.L. James and Company are going to milk this baby for all it’s worth.

With 13 million copies sold here in the U.S. alone, I ‘m sure there’s a market for the merchandise . . . in fact, I’m surprised she and her literary agent didn’t ink a deal earlier. Then again, she was busy with that $5 million movie deal. Oh heavens. There will be merchandise tied in with it as well, probably . . .

An officially  licensed speader bar and your own Ana handcuffs for your Red Room of Pain, anyone?

I’ll pass.

OT: Milkin’ that cash cow for all its worth

22 responses »

  1. While I was away I saw quite a few people who had bought that book for their holiday reading. Apparently the book sellers at the airport were well-stocked with it.
    I might add that I read North & South and Cat Winchester’s sequel, both of which I enjoyed thoroughly! 🙂

    • Ah, some worthwhile reading. 😀 Honestly, I told Benny today I would gladly sacrifice those 10,000-plus hits I have gotten on my blog related to Shades if it would all just go away. Sadly, what with the merchandising and the upcoming movie–I don’t think that will happen soon.

  2. I share your dismay at the depths to which merchandisers will sink. I just hope this does a fast fade, as many flashes in the pan do when people realize they’ve been had.

    • Leigh! I was just thinking about you. Glad to hear from you again. I have found some other bloggers out there who are equally dismayed at this whole thing. It’s as if every time I pick up a magazine or go online there’s something about those damned books and all the tie-ins. May it all end up in the bargain bin and at the discount outlets very, very soon.

  3. It’s really sad what passes for entertainment anymore! I have a friend who love that Kardashian show as well as those “Housewives…” shows! I watched parts of a couple of episodes and was appalled by them! Oh well, I turn her off when she talks about them just like she turns me off when I talk about Richard (and I try so hard not to talk about him!) However, our obsession is for a person who is worthy of our interest unlike these other shows. That 50 Shades mess goes right along with those other brain draining shows!

    I agree with collarcitybrownstone, ignore it and hopefully they will fade away!

    • I saw online where Emma Roberts (Julia’s niece) wants to play Ana because she wants to do something “edgy.” She hasn’t actually read the books, mind you. Why would you say you wanted to play a character you know little to nothing about? Oh, and Brett Easton Ellis wants to write the screenplay (well, he can’t do any worse that James and probably would improve things) and thinks Kristen Stewart should possibly play the role. I’ve got some advice, “Just say no, Kristen. You’ll never be able to move beyond Twilight and its warped, shlocky cousin if you do.”

      • Lovely…(in a sarcastic tone). I’ve been watching The Lord of the Rings over the last few day. I bought the extended versions with all sorts of extras and commentaries. I just keep thinking about Richard having a similar experience on TH. I loved hearing the commentary of the first movie. I’m imagining Richard doing it. Ohhhh, I can’t wait! 😉

        • I’ve only seen the LOTR on the premium channels so I have never seen any of the extras or commentaries. I am looking forward to getting TH on DVD and enjoying all the bells and whistles.

      • By all accounts she’s managed to leave it behind somewhat with her role in Snow White and the Huntsman . Playing Ana might lose her any ground that she has gained since Twilight, but then again, she may not care. She’s still very young, with hopefully many years ahead of her to make up for the “schlocky cousins.”

        • The last I heard anything from KS, she hadn’t actually read the books yet, either, but said she planned to because “everybody else is reading them.” Hmmm, where have I heard that before? I still do not possibly see how they can remain reasonably faithful to James’ characters and story without a rating that would technically keep out a lot of Stewart’s fan base. Granted, you really can only (improve on the source material. 😉 I just think she could do a lot better than this role. Bella was at best a questionable role model in “Twilight,” and I can’t say Ana is a step up. 😦

          I think about when they paid Joe Esterhase a million dollars for writing that unintentionally hilarious piece of dreck “Showgirls.” I remember sitting there watching it and thinking, “REALLY? He got paid that much money for THIS?” Then the “gentleman” writes some book and talks about having sex with Sharon and her “flabby” body. Talk about kissing and telling. Gives me the skeevies. It’s the kind of behavior I can’t even begin to imagine Richard engaging in.

          • The scene from “Singing in the Rain” comes to mind when they are previewing the new “talking movie” and Gene Kelly goes “I love you I love you I love you” and somebody in the audience asks “did somebody get paid for writing this dialogue”? Did Eszterhas write about Sharon Stone? Since when does she have a “flabby” body? Oh dear. And it’s not like Eszterhas is an oil painting himself (not that that would make it anymore acceptable to talk about a former partner that way even if he were the best looking guy in the world!).. Disgusting.

            • Yes, Joe said those things about Stone in a book he wrote. I did not read the book, but saw a review with some quotes. I could only think, “First he shows no discretion and writes about sex with this woman and then he insults her body. A real prince.” I really despise the behavior of these men who feel the need to kiss (and a whole lot more) and tell. John Mayer is another one. Talented guy, but what a douchebag!

              • What woman (famous or otherwise) in her right mind would even think of entering into a relationship of any kind with these guys knowing their tendency to “kiss and tell”??? No matter how rich they are! They’d deserve never to have another relationship for the rest of their lives!

          • I read that KS wanted to read the novels because Rob (a.k.a R-Patz her BF) was talking about them! THey seem like nice down-to-earth people but I don’t think they should be promoting this stuff if they want to be taken seriously as actors.

            • Yeah, I remember that now, too. I don’t think it would be a good career move at all for either of them to get too involved with this project. I saw where Disney star Selena Gomez read part of the book and decided the role would be “too spicy for her tastes.” Smart move, my girl. I know child/ teen stars sometimes have trouble moving into more adult-oriented fare and being taken seriously as actors, but 50 SoG is not the way to do it iMHO.

  4. This is getting more and more ridiculous by the day. It is absolutely everywhere! And every time someone criticises these damn books, there are people who jump down their throats with “get off your high horse, it’s just a bit of harmless escapism”! Escapism it may be but harmless? Not sure.

    • I am at a point now where I just stick to my guns and unabashedly state I think those damn books ARE potentially harmful. It is clear from the comments I have been getting that very young people are reading them, too, in part due to the whole Twilight origins thing, and finding an emotionally abusive relationship “romantic.” Readers are buying into the whole concept that those in the BDSM community must be warped and have a history of abuse, thus alienating this segment of society. And, simply put, bad writing with faulty psychology is being promoted as something worthwhile that we must read, as if we are the Borg and must assimilate (a Star Trek: TNG reference). I am effing sick of it all and can’t wait until people (hopefully) come to their senses.

        • She throws in this one scene with flowers and candles as I recall and I think this is supposed to be her sop to Christian behaving in a romantic manner to please Ana. Sorry, that doesn’t cut it for me. Doesn’t make up for him enjoying beating her with a belt (although he did feel bad when she cried) and his constant manipulations and excessive need for control and general level of effed upness.

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