Since this is the last Thudworthy Thorin Thursday before Halloween arrives next week, we will close out today’s Thorin posts with something seasonal:
It’s raining Thorin today!! Hurray, hurray!
There’s a new commercial for Chanel No. 5 featuring the fabled perfume’s first male spokesperson, actor Brad Pitt. It’s been spoofed by, well—everybody. And no one seems to quite know what it’s supposed to mean. I personally equate it with pretentious crap, but that’s just me.
However, it’s generating a ton of views on YouTube and no doubt sales will only climb. Even seemingly negative publicity is better than none at all, right?
“It’s not a journey. Every journey ends but we go on,” Pitt says in the black and white commercial. “The world turns and we turn with it. Plans disappear. Dreams take over. But wherever I go, there you are. My luck, my fate, my fortune.”
HUH? Click the link below to see both the original commercial and some of the spoofs:
So, I got to thinking–what if there was a Thorin spoof of said scent commercial? It might go something like–this, with lots of soulful, meaningful glances and that deep, dark, rich baritone purring the words:
“It’s an unexpected journey. With a bunch of dirty, filthy, smelly, raucous dwarves. It ends at some point but the stench goes on. Middle-Earth turns and we turn with it.
Plans disappear. Maybe the hobbit steals them.
He is a burglar after all, though hardly a warrior.
Dreams take over. I dream of being the hottest dwarf ever. Oh, wait–I already am.
Wherever I go, there you all are–salivating over me. My luck, my fate, my fangurlz.
I’m gonna make a fortune for Warner Brothers. You won’t ever be as gorgeous and hot as me, but if you use this stuff, at least you’ll smell better than Dwalin.”
Would we really care what he said? Or how it actually smelled? We’d probably buy it anyway. Oh, we’ve got it bad . . .
(With apologies to David Guetta)
He’s nothin’ like a dwarf that you’ve ever seen before
Nothin’ you can compare to your part of the world
I’m tryin’ to find the words to describe this guy
without bein’ disrespectful . . .
Damn! you’re a sexy dwarf!
A hottie dwarf!
Damn, you’re a gorgeous dwarf . . .
OK, so he’s a good half-foot shorter than I am. And very hairy. When compared to his age, I am practically jail bait. And yet . . . oh, the allure.
Who needs Naomi or Miranda or Gisele or one of those other supermodels when you have Hirsute Hotness Incarnate to grace the cover of your magazine?
Ladies and Gentlemen, I enter into evidence the photo above. *thud*
Even with Gandalf looming over him, Thorin still manages to look very regal and kingly–a fellow not to be trifled with.
I want to run my fingers through that mane of hair, stroke his beard, nibble on those delectable elfin ears . . .
Undoubtedly, undeniably the Universe’s Hottest, Sexiest, Most Alluring Dwarf.
- The Thorin Oakenshield Effect: Pole-Axed By the Hot Warrior Dwarf (thearmitageeffect.wordpress.com)
- Storm clouds at Ladywriter’s: Thorin vs. Guy (thearmitageeffect.wordpress.com)
- Thorin is epic. I am besotted. (thearmitageeffect.wordpress.com)
- Thorin Thursday: He’s Got the Look (thearmitageeffect.wordpress.com)
Uncanny (adj.): 1. characterized by supernatural or inexplicable basis 2. beyond the ordinary, expected or normal. 3. Mysterious, strange, especially in an unsettling way
Synonyms for uncanny: unearthly, eery, strange, mysterious; extraordinary, remarkable, fantastic, astonishing, incredible, miraculous, unheard-of
Never have I been affected by one actor as I have been by Richard Crispin Armitage. The power he has over me–the ability to lift my spirits, to stir my libido, to capture my imagination–is positively uncanny. I look into those large, luminous eyes of changeable blue and feel as if he’s looking straight into my soul– it’s uncanny. I see one of those sunny grins and the joy said smile brings me? Uncanny.
Lucas, with his pale skin, dark hair and blue eyes has an unearthly beauty that is quite uncanny.
Uncanny once meant “mischievous.” The association of “uncanny” with the supernatural arose in the 1770s. The word “canny” means careful, shrewd, astute, frugal and skilled. Hmmmmmm . . .
We know that RA always pauses to weigh his words before he speaks in interviews, giving careful thought to his responses rather than blurting out the first thing off the top of his head.
He also shows great insight into his characters and is astute in their crafting. The years of struggling financially seem to have made him a prudent and somewhat frugal individual who is not a profligate spender (except, perhaps, for splashing out on his beloved parents from time to time).
And, as an amazingly gifted and versatile actor, he is nothing less than skilled at his chosen profession.
Therefore, I declare the uncanny Mr. Armitage to be very canny, too. But wait! There’s more . . .
In the Scots and Northeast England dialects, calling an individual “canny” is very much a sign of approval. Here, a canny person is one who is good, nice, steady, restrained, gentle.
Wud ye nae say our bonny Richard is a canny lad, indeed? 😉
Here’s to the uncanny delight and pleasure this lovely, canny gentleman brings into our lives on a daily basis. Thank you, dear Rich!