OT: Loss, too much of it.


If you read the link to my other blog, you know we lost Reo. Luckie was missing and Benny later found his body, too. We both loved them so much. They were going to be the two dogs we kept. I can only hope and pray my little ones are now playing together, safe and sound, across that Rainbow Bridge. I am sick at heart and sad and worried for my remaining puppies, fearful they will suffer the same fate of being struck by a car. I am sure Reo and Luckie were trying to follow the big dogs and weren’t able to move out of the way in time. They were still so young . . .

PicMonkey CollageRIP

We have our Humane Society meeting later today, but honestly, I can’t bring myself to plan to attend. I know I will burst into tears and I just can’t stand the thought of boo-hooing in front of everyone and also trying to drive when I am so emotionally upset. I sent in my updates to the president and some of the members and explained my situation. I hope they understand.

The grey old clouds are moving in again to my psyche and I feel the tug of depression coupled with the overwhelming anxieties.  I also think of the many souls lost in the attacks on September 11, all those who lost friends and loved ones on that dreadful day, and I grieve for them, too. A couple of puppies may not mean like much in the face of all that, but for us, on this night, it is a crushing blow.

Loss, too much of it.

Update: The remaining pups have gone to Kandys’ rescue operation. They cried the entire way there and wanted to follow us after being put in the kennel, but at least they had their shots, worming and are together and safe. Hopefully they will go to good homes, probably in sunny Florida where they will likely live the life of Riley. And yes, I will miss them, I already do.

Word of advice: if someone shares and they are clearly grieving over a very recent loss that was the result of a tragic accident, please, people,  don’t jump in and start telling them how they SHOULD have done things and how a responsible pet owner would behave. Hindsight is clearly 20/20 and your words, however much well-intended, can only twist the knife into the very deep and real wound with which they are already dealing. It’s GREAT to be concerned about animal welfare; but showing a little compassion for your fellow humans goes a long way, too. Don’t kick people when they are down. Subject closed and comments now closed. Thank you to all who did share “God with skin on” even if it was of the virtual variety.


About fedoralady

I'm an LA native--Lower Alabama, that is. My husband of more than 30 years and I live here on a portion of my family's former farm with two gorgeous calicos and a handsome GSD mix. My background is art education, and over the years I've been a teacher, department store photographer, sales associate and a journalist. My husband, his business partner and I have Pecan Ridge Productions, a video production company, for which I shoot & edit video and stills and manage marketing. I also still write part-time for the local paper. I love movies, music, art, photography and books, and my tastes in all of them are eclectic.

32 responses

  1. Oh Angie what terrible news. I’m crying with you. Just praying the others come back safe.

    Big hugs. Take care of yourself today, tomorrow WILL be better, even if only a little bit. One day at a time.

    • I hope the three older dogs are all OK. Haven’t seen them. The two pups are on the deck. I just went out and checked on them and we played and cuddled a little. Then Laddie cried when I cam e back inside. 😦 You are right, it will get better–it just doesn’t seem much like it right now. Thank you, though. ((hugs))

  2. Oh Angie, I’m so sorry you’ve had another loss. On top of everything else you’ve had to go through, it’s no wonder you’re feeling the way you are. Sending you and Benny ((((hugs)))) I’m thinking of you.

    • It’s been a hard year, Mezz. Seems like every time I think things are turning around for us, something else bad happens. For someone already prone to depression, it is–difficult. Thank you for your support, my dear. ((hugs))

  3. Angie, I’m so sorry–wish I knew what to say to ease your pain. I can hardly bear to think about your loss.

  4. I´m so sorry for you and the puppies, so young. A couple of weeks ago I had to euthanize my old cat Moerlin (she was 15 years old and suffering from cancer), I´m still sad. Fortunately there´s the other cat Tapsy giving me some kind of solace.
    Regarding this day I´ll never forget coming home from work and watching these unbelievable TV pictures, what a shock. Don´t think the world has learned of it…
    Big hugs from me, don´t give up.

    • I understand the lingering sadness and sense of loss. I still get a lump in my throat over our cat that passed away a few months ago. And I never stop missing them, really. Remembering 9-11 just compounds the sadness, and no, I fear we have not learned much from it. 😦

      Thanks for the words of encouragement and hugs back atcha. 😀

  5. Sending you prayers, hope and love.I suffered a seizure 2 weeks ago and am grateful to still be here myself. I know you are going through a lot, and my heart is with you xx

  6. I left a note on your other blog, Angie. I am completely devastated by this news and I’m not surprised you are feeling so overwhelmed with sadness. The other day I saw I quote: “If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever” RIP Reo and Luckie.

    • And now the #$$@#^%% woman who coordinates rescues is taking a high-handed tone with me asking why did I allow them to stay in harm’s way. I just had to respond:

      “I am sorry, but we don’t have a kennel or pen and I was doing the very best I could to take care of them, planning to keep two and see about getting homes for the other two ASAP. You have NO idea how many animals my husband and I have adopted from shelters or taken in over the years that were abandoned in our area, dogs and cats, who have lived long and happy lives, This was a terrible tragedy and NOBODY feels it more than I do. My husband and I are going to take the two remaining pups to Kandys later today because I do want them to be safe and have a chance at a loving home. I haven’t slept a wink and cried throughout the night in between checking on the puppies, so I respectfully ask that you not attempt to lay a further guilt trip on me, ma’am.”

      I know she loves animals, but my gosh, she is terrible with people. She’s made my dear cousin Kandys cry, and Kandys is one of the most selfless, caring individuals I have ever met in my entire LIFE!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

        • I don’t know and I don’t care, she have no tact in dealing with her fellow human beings, that’s all I’ve got to say. There’s nothing like kicking someone who is already down. :-/

          • Completely agree with you, Angie–kindness and empathy cost us nothing and yet so few people seem to see the need to utilize those things on a regular basis. It had to be obvious to her that you were devastated and yet she chose to take that awful tone with you. I guess I will never understand people like that, however long I may live.

            • Thanks, Steph, I just don’t believe in kicking a person when he or she is already down, and that’s what she did. Not only should you have compassion for animals, a little compassion for your fellow human beings is nice, too.

          • It is saddening, the losses that you’ve had and anyone can see you are upset, but maybe after the pain is better you can see the truth in what she said. Adopting and providing a home is very important but keeping them safe also is and doesn’t have to cost much if the animals are kept inside and taken out on leashes or a cheap chain link fence is put up. I’m sure you think I’m cruel as well but hopefully you’ll see the wisdom behind it. There is a reason we have made our cats indoor cats except on leashes and we didn’t let our dog run wild but kept her inside or outside with supervision.

            • We don’t have experience with very young puppies like this and honestly we did the best we could UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES. The way this woman phrased herself was unacceptable, Jael, especially without her knowing me and how truly devastated I was. I do know of her reputation and she can be unnecessarily cruel. She’s made the kindest, most selfless person I know cry on more than one occasion.

              These puppies were dumped on our doorstep without warning, we didn’t ask for them, we took them, gave them shelter, food, water and lots of love and now the two remaining will be going to a safe, secure place today. I feel terrible enough as it is about this and am doing what I can to rectify the situation.

              • My best friend in Tennessee put it best, I think–we’ve been friends for more than 30 years and have lost quite a few furry companions along the way–when she said “they just don’t live long enough, do they?” The whys and wherefores don’t matter–we love them and when they’re no longer with us, we miss them and we grieve.

              • Yeah, but why would an irresponsible person like me possibly grieve?? Damn, I better close the comments on this one. It’s all getting to be too much for me.

              • Well, they are at Kandys’s rescue now, Patches and Laddie, and they weren’t happy about being taken (cried the entire way) or left there, but I know it’s for the best. And I’d prefer not to discuss this here any further tonight. It’s been a hellish 24 hours for yours truly.

            • I was thinking abut this yesterday when Angie said she didn’t know how best to keep the other puppies safe. My parents home in the UK was on 12 acres of land and it would have been impossible to keep the dogs off the road ( a quiet country lane but nevertheless one that people sometimes went too fast down) without penning them in a small area which seemed cruel considering the amount of space they could roam in. Bottom line is that most dogs will learn road sense if they have to. My dogs in Sydney never have, because we live in a city and they have to be in the house, in a small garden or on a leash. I feel sorry for them in comparison to my parents dogs, to be honest.

              This was a tragic accident. I don’t know where Angie lives but it looks like dog paradise and if hadn’t been for some lead foot, they would probably have lived to a ripe old age without having to watch the world through a chain linked fence.

              Angie- I know you feel overwhelmed with grief now but please try and hold onto the knowledge you did your best for all your animals and gave them a much better life than many would have done. We all know the shelters a full of animals no one has cared for, or been cruel to, and we all know that healthy animals are euthanised every day. You gave these babies a chance and they were loved. Bless you for that.

              • Bolly, I respectfully disagree. I grew up in the country and one of my family’s pet peeves were the other people who let their animals run free. The animals get attacked by coyotes, wolves, foxes, hit by vehicles, fights with other animals, cats can get picked up by hawks and eagles. It’s just not safe. IMO, being a responsible pet owner includes keeping your animals safe and keeping them safe in a fence is not cruel, it’s protective.

              • I am sorry we don’t meet your criteria as responsible pet owners. My philosophy is more like Bolly’s, right or wrong. If the people had taken the puppies to a shelter ( oh, but there isn’t one in the neighboring county, which is where they likely came from) or better yet, simply had the mama dog spayed before she got pregnant, we wouldn’t have been put in that predicament, would we?