Monthly Archives: October 2014

It all matters. Our life right now. And Richard’s smile on Thorin.


(Sorry, this post isn’t the most upbeat I have ever shared, but it’s honest. And there’s some hope sprinkled in, because I am essentially an optimist. ūüėČ )

We are about to go into the season of giving. I have already started seeing the charities popping up on the caller ID. I don’t answer the phone because I know I will have to decline.

My sister paid our mortgage for last month. She is an angel, but I have known that forever. ¬†We probably won’t be able to pay this month’s installment until next month.

Ever heard of robbing Peter to pay Paul? Yeah, it’s like that. Who absolutely HAS to be paid, and who will just have to wait their turn.¬† I’ve been picking up more work with the newspaper (thank you, Tracy)¬†and also sold more of my jewelry and collectibles, and that’s brought in a few hundred dollars, but it all seems like just a drop in the bucket.

On one hand, I am so pleased to finally see progress being made with this arm and wrist of mine. I got an¬†injection in my wrist¬†yesterday and go back in two weeks. Dr. Chavan is happy to see improvement, but neither of us believes I am where I need to be yet.¬† I WILL get there, even if it takes being¬†sent to the “wrist man” for surgery.¬† I’ve been fighting with this since May, close to six months, and I am finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. For that, I am deeply grateful.

On the other hand, the co-pays are eating us alive. And I feel guilty about it. Guilty that my husband is falling asleep at his desk at work because he can’t sleep at night. I hate seeing him looking so tired. Normally a stoic kind of guy, Benny actually¬†admitting how bushed he is indicates to me he really is¬†desperately in need of a break, and¬†in more ways than one.

And I am desperately tired myself; the Chronic Fatigue is hammering me, on top of the FMS, all exacerbated by the tendon and ligament damage on my left side.¬† It’s one day, one hour, sometimes one minute at a time. I do pretty well putting on a game face for local friends and acquaintances, but underneath it all . . . sometimes I want to curl up with my blue fleece throw and have a good old cry.


So I really needed this quote I found on Pinterest today, a¬†reminder that the small and seemingly insignificant things I can actually¬†do, that any of us can do,¬†make a difference. They count; they matter. I may not be able to donate to worthy causes or participate in some events because of my lack of funds and/or my physical limitations, but I can still find enjoyment and purpose and do good for others in my own way. I don’t know, maybe some of you need to be reminded, too . . .



And seeing all the beauty and humor and sweet humanity in this face doesn’t hurt either.


Obla-dee, obla-dah, life goes on, brah . . .


Yes, I am still here, just dealing with a lot of Real Life Stuff, health-wise, money-wise, etc. ¬†I did escape (complete with my big clunky purple cast) for a few days to our beautiful Gulf Coast, the so-called “Redneck Riviera” ūüėČ to spend time with my two sisters and sort of celebrate all our birthdays together.

Never mind they are in three separate months–September, August and January–celebrate when and where you can, that’s our motto.


It was the first time we had been together in–what, over a year? Haven’t been to the beach in close to two years. Way too long. Sara was her usual gracious self and prepared wonderful food–the Omaha Steaks filet mignon was to die for–while Tony took us out for a couple of memorable meals of Gulf Coast seafood and southern sides. Deb had to cut up my food for me, but I managed not to make too much of a mess. ūüėČ OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA My sisters Deb and Sara on the balcony of Sara’s Orange Beach condo. ¬†I never fail to marvel at the sunrises and sunsets when I am down there. ¬†Below, Sara sporting the Alabama monogrammed cuff and scarf I gave her as part of her birthday and wearing a shirt from Deb in anticipation of Crimson Tide Game Day; the palms in front of the Phoenix VIII silhouetted against the sky and Sara and her “little” sister, who now towers over her. ¬†And there’s the adorable Hannah, my sister’s sweet, sweet little dog.¬† ¬† OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA ¬† OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA ¬† OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA ¬† 51cbf09a_o Little things mean a lot, and there are so many things we simply take for granted. I didn’t realize how long it have been since I had enjoyed a refreshing glass of juice until we had the orange-pineapple kind for breakfast on a couple of mornings. My gosh, but that juice was good! I really savored it. That’s one of things that has fallen off our grocery list of late. Too many medical co-pays, too little money, just can’t make it stretch far enough. Some of you know how it goes.

As far as my health issues, the cast is off and the forearm has definitely improved by resting the tendon through forced immobility, just as Chavan hoped. Hooray! However, the wrist is still problematic and I am not dismissing scoping surgery of the wrist in the future. (Come to think of it, my entire body is problematic. I feel like that old fixer-upper in the neighborhood: I’m full of character and a certain charm, but I definitely needs lot of work. ¬†Caveat emptor.)

We worked last weekend covering a homecoming dance for PRP and an attack of sciatica nearly did me in. But I survived, as always. I just pay for it over the next several days. C’est la vie. Keeping fingers crossed that everything goes well with tomorrow morning’s assignment for the newspaper. ¬†I need the bucks, whenever and however I can make them–within reason, of course. And due to the cast, I am seriously behind on some of my projects. ¬†On those all-too-frequent days when I feel overly stressed and bummed out in general, I close my eyes and remember this: OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA And this. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA And also this. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA ¬† P9195505 ¬† OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA The sugary white sands of Orange Beach, Ala., and the ever-changing blues and greens (not to mention pinks and oranges) of sky and sea. All photos, save the one of Sara and me taken by Deb, are my own.¬†


I’ve got a soft, beautiful cat on my lap, and new books to read and escape into, ¬†thanks to Sara’s generous gift of an Amazon card; the birthday cash from Deb helped buy groceries and gas. I have a darling husband who can always make me laugh even when I am low, and two sisters who love and support me in various ways. ¬†I’m not where I want to be, exactly, in life, but I am trying to make the best of where I am with what I have. ¬† 31186d5f9b8d386572e9c22701f29d64 I think this guy would approve (he tends to make me feel better, too, BTW. ¬†Edit by Fernanda Matias).¬† 6a735308b1b03cd89f2f588348135454