(Blogger’s note: I started this post this morning and then decided to take a nice long nap. Turned out to be even longer than I planned. Yeah, I was tired.)
My physical therapist told me to take it easy this weekend and I would hate to let her down. We are out of cereal so I had cold pizza for a late breakfast. It’s really very tasty. I’m catching up on some of the movies and TV shows I have DVRed while thinking seriously about a nap. My husband will chide me for being a couch potato when he gets home this afternoon, but just call me “Spuds Fedora” today.
Pain kept me up well into the night. I keep reminding myself that sometimes things get worse before they get better and it’s not as if I am unaccustomed to pain and discomfort, right? The tennis elbow (more like photographer/videographer’s elbow) and tendonitis have improved, I think; the ulnar nerve, on the other hand, has given me absolute fits. I suspect a nerve conductivity test will be unavoidable (with minor surgery to relieve the nerve compression to follow).
Speaking of nerves, my car has broken down five times in the last two weeks, forcing me to miss my much-needed therapy last Friday. It’s getting on my last nerve, that big, comfy old (emphasis on “old”) tank. It’s not the battery or alternator, apparently; sometimes it just decides it doesn’t want to crank. Well, I feel the same way some days, so perhaps I shouldn’t be too hard on the Crown Vic. And I have to be thankful for cell phones and the kindness of the local police force, who obligingly moved The Old Tank out of the roundabout and into a safe spot last Friday . . . it could be worse.
I have been thinking a lot about comfort zones of late, too; dear friend Judit, aka the Hungarian Honey, is writing about her Crucible experiences and sharing them here with us at my blog. For Judit, writing something for publication, putting it out there where anyone online could potentially see it, was scary. Unnerving. Those feelings are perfectly understandable.
A few years back, when I wrote my first fan fic, a one-off story with Lucas, I was very apprehensive about publishing it. And keep in mind, I was a working newspaper reporter and columnist at the time. But this was something different; this was fiction, not fact, not an area I had a great deal of experience in writing-wise. I was dealing with a whole new group of potential readers. I knew the horror stories about “flamers.” Who wants their creative efforts to be ripped apart?
So yes, I had some butterflies in the stomach before I hit that “publish” button at Live Journal.
After some initial technical glitches, it all went pretty well. Better even than I expected. So I kept at it, started writing longer multi-chapter fiction. I had a lot of fun and felt a definite sadness when a project came to the end and I had to say “goodbye” to the characters. I can understand better how actors can become attached to and protective of their characters, too.
I even moved on to writing a novel with my own characters, although for various reasons it’s languishing for now, its inhabitants still knocking at the door of my imagination from time to time. The point is, writing fan fiction gave me the opportunity to flex some creative muscles in ways I hadn’t used them before. As the graphic above says, I had to be willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable along the way.
I did worry about what people would think, what they would say, when I first started sharing my creative efforts within the fandom. You know what? I have learned you have to leave those worries behind, too, as you step outside the static safety of the comfort zone. I love this quote you see above. You can never, nor should you ever try, to please everyone. Haters are gonna sit on the sidelines and be haters. Always have been, and always will be.
Jealousy and envy have been around as long as humankind; don’t let it stop you when others display theirs. If you feel the desire, the need, the passion to share your creativity and imagination and dreams through writing, drawing, painting, photo editing, video making, blogging, dancing, singing or other means, DO IT. And look for like-minded people who will encourage and nurture and inspire you along the way!
Even though life I am still relatively poor, with a chronic condition affecting me mind, body and spirit, no longer a cute young thing and driving a vehicle the reliability of which is suspect–I think it isn’t over yet, that I still have something to say, something to share, someone to inspire, new things to learn, growing to do. I am still looking for the magic . . . it’s the attitude I believe the man who inspired/inspires me would champion, the one who has kept pushing against the boundaries of his own comfort zone.