Tag Archives: Gimli

“No Shortage of Smolder”: A tribute mag’s view of sexy dwarves

Standard

My ever-helpful husband found a copy of a mag titled The Hobbit: An Unexpected Prequel to The Lord of the Rings while we were browsing at Books-A-Million Saturday night. Naturally, I had to take this periodical, which bills itself as “TheOneRingnet’s Collector’s Edition” by Topix Media Lab.

I wanted to share some of the contents with you with a few editorial comments thrown in.

“There’s something to be said for a short man with a hot temper . . . Gimli didn’t stand up to the rugged allure of Aragorn or the ethereal good looks of Legolas, but this new crop of dwarves manages to stay true to the brawling, bearded dwarf aesthetic of the books while showing off a bit more of what the dwarven race has going for it.

Each dwarf has a very unique look, but they all have one thing in common: really awesome facial hair . . . from Bifur’s black braids to Thorin’s well-groomed goatee, the variety of scruff proves without a doubt that beards are back in a big way.”

(naturally, I love this following quote and thoroughly agree with opinion expressed)

“No Shortage of Smolder . . . it takes only one look at the leader of the Company to see these dwarves are not your average brawlers. Richard Armitage as Thorin Oakenshield is the breakout heart throb of the series, with his baritone singing voice and his piercing gaze throwing female audiences into a tizzy. It’s safe to say this dwarf would have no trouble finding someone to join him on an adventure.”

(Yeah, where do we sign up for this adventure?)

The writer adds that Thorin’s nephews Fili and Kili are “arguably the easiest on the eyes  . . . looking more like elves or humans than the typical dwarf , with manicured beards and flowing locks that frame their chiseled features. However, they still stay true to Tolkien’s vision, and it doesn’t seem like anyone is complaining about watching these two trek through three movies.”

(Personally, I am not complaining about watching Uncle Heart Throb and his Hottie Sister-Sons through it all and beyond.)