Tag Archives: Grief Loss and Bereavement

OT: Loss, too much of it.


If you read the link to my other blog, you know we lost Reo. Luckie was missing and Benny later found his body, too. We both loved them so much. They were going to be the two dogs we kept. I can only hope and pray my little ones are now playing together, safe and sound, across that Rainbow Bridge. I am sick at heart and sad and worried for my remaining puppies, fearful they will suffer the same fate of being struck by a car. I am sure Reo and Luckie were trying to follow the big dogs and weren’t able to move out of the way in time. They were still so young . . .

PicMonkey CollageRIP

We have our Humane Society meeting later today, but honestly, I can’t bring myself to plan to attend. I know I will burst into tears and I just can’t stand the thought of boo-hooing in front of everyone and also trying to drive when I am so emotionally upset. I sent in my updates to the president and some of the members and explained my situation. I hope they understand.

The grey old clouds are moving in again to my psyche and I feel the tug of depression coupled with the overwhelming anxieties.  I also think of the many souls lost in the attacks on September 11, all those who lost friends and loved ones on that dreadful day, and I grieve for them, too. A couple of puppies may not mean like much in the face of all that, but for us, on this night, it is a crushing blow.

Loss, too much of it.

Update: The remaining pups have gone to Kandys’ rescue operation. They cried the entire way there and wanted to follow us after being put in the kennel, but at least they had their shots, worming and are together and safe. Hopefully they will go to good homes, probably in sunny Florida where they will likely live the life of Riley. And yes, I will miss them, I already do.

Word of advice: if someone shares and they are clearly grieving over a very recent loss that was the result of a tragic accident, please, people,  don’t jump in and start telling them how they SHOULD have done things and how a responsible pet owner would behave. Hindsight is clearly 20/20 and your words, however much well-intended, can only twist the knife into the very deep and real wound with which they are already dealing. It’s GREAT to be concerned about animal welfare; but showing a little compassion for your fellow humans goes a long way, too. Don’t kick people when they are down. Subject closed and comments now closed. Thank you to all who did share “God with skin on” even if it was of the virtual variety.


Goodbye, Thumper Cat. You were one of a kind.



Another one of our furry family members has left us. Benny discovered our three-legged tuxedo cat Thumper had passed away tonight. She was between 11 and 12 years old.  I hope they were mostly happy years for her.

A good Samaritan found this little kitten in a parking lot one rainy day. She was soaking wet and ripped open from stem to stern after an altercation with a dog. In spite of her severe injuries, she was struggling to get back up. This kitten was a fighter.

The local vet wasn’t able to save her mangled leg but he tucked in the organs, sewed her up and gave her shots and meds, fearing she would not make it.

But she did. A friend of the good Samaritan  took her in after she did some healing and fostered the kitten until she could find a good home.

And that home was with us. Thumper was a very interesting cat. While she loved being rubbed, she hated being picked up and wasn’t what you would call an affectionate cat (she would frequently growl at me and try to bite me and loved to attack your toes under the covers). She was a loner who didn’t interact much with our other cats. I loved her so much, but sometimes it seemed she would never love me back in the same way.


Thumper was litter box trained, but she often found other places to “go”, much to our frustration. Sometimes she’d suddenly begin quivering from head to toe out of the blue. Was it some form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Because of the trauma of her early life, we delayed having her spayed. Turns out we shouldn’t have, because it proved a turning point in our relationship. Suddenly she was hauling herself up on the bed to be with us by rappelling up the comforter. She’d voluntarily seek out our laps.

Later in her life, she became strange bedfellows with our diva cat Puddie. The two would often cuddle together and groom each other. We lost Puddie several months ago and saw yet another change in Thumper.

She began to behave much more like a, well, like a real CAT. As if she’d discovered her true identity. For the first time, it seemed to me Thumper Cat was largely happy. I enjoyed her so much and felt as if  we were bonding in a way that had never before happened.  Benny would walk into the bedroom and she’d immediately begin meowing at him, insisting he sit down. As soon as he did, she’d climb into his lap and purr as if there was no tomorrow. Benny would roll his eyes, but I could tell he really enjoyed it, too.

And now there are no more tomorrows for my funny, smart, strange, oddly endearing tuxedo cat. Thumper, I will miss you. You’ve had my heart for years, and I felt I finally won yours. Yet you will live on in the Land of the So Not Dead with Puddie and Guy, who will surely spoil you rotten (er).

Tonight, I am sad. I fell in the middle of the road walking back from the farmhouse tonight and banged myself up, abraded knee and elbow, busted lip, bloody nose, and it will all be worse in the morning. Maybe even a black eye or two.

But it will heal. What won’t ever completely heal is the loss of yet another family member, that eccentric one you never quite understand but loved deeply anyway.

Tonight, I am hoping my little Callie–my last remaining cat–will stay a while with me. Sure would ease the pain, of the body and of the heart.


Goodbye, Thumper Cat. I truly will not ever forget you.

Sad Tidings & Reflections on a Good Man


A few days ago we lost a member of my family, a cousin. Today my husband’s uncle–the one he has been looking after during a recent illness–passed away during surgery to replace an infected heart stent. Thankfully his own son and daughter-in-law from Ohio and other area family members were able to be there at the hospital when it all happened.

Benny’s cousin thanked him for all he had done for his dad. Benny insists it wasn’t much, but it was. He did his best, and that is all anybody can do.  Uncle had reached a point where he did not want to eat or drink and had allowed himself to get into an even more weakened state before going into the hospital.

Benny had taken him to doctor’s appointments, wiped him when he soiled his pajamas, washed his clothes and dishes and bought groceries trying to coax him to eat. If the man had employed a paid caregiver, he wouldn’t have been cared for any better. Perhaps not as well.

I am so sad for my husband, yet I am so proud of him, too. These words from the Bible keep popping into my head: “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

Just as I sometimes think I couldn’t possibly adore Richard Armitage one whit more, I find myself falling even more in love with the love of my life.

Enjoy your friends and family and loved ones as we enter a new year. And cherish the memories of all those you’ve loved and lost.  Blessings.