Will he or won’t he?; or, the possible return of the Bearded Beaut

How exciting to think that in a few short days we will see a NEW interview with Richard! (I must say, all those we got during the big Hobbit press junket and series of red carpet appearances really did spoil me.)

RA’s slated to appear with Lorraine on ITV in England on Thursday, and Ali at RANet promises to have the segment posted ASAP. Of course, with roughly two-and-a-half months to go before shooting resumes on The Hobbit films, there’s a good chance Richard will have also resumed growing out his facial hair.

And I say–bring it on! As much as I looked forward to seeing Richard’s beautiful clean-shaven face after his long sojourn in New Zealand, I also found myself actually missing the beard. It really had grown on me . . . so to speak.

The truth is, Richard Armitage is one of those rare guys who can pull off a variety of looks–scruffy, clean-shaven, bearded, long hair, short hair, et al.–and look great no matter what.  But I have developed a genuine affection for The Beard. Found myself pining for it just a bit.

As some of you may recall, I even celebrated it in a poem a while back. Thought it might be time to share it once more with you all!

The Bearded Beaut

(written after the very first Hobbit press conference)

There are some who eschew guys who pass up a razor,

Preferring a clean-shaven face.

As for me, I don’t agree.

I don’t think it’s so weird to fancy a gent with a beard;

Facial hair—oooh, that air of masculinity!

That alpha maleness lurking in the vicinity

Of a handsome hirsute face

makes one’s heart quicken its pace  . . .

(Downy-cheeked lads just lack a certain—virility.)

And when the beard that’s sprouting out

Graces not some average lout

But Our Man who outshines all the rest of ‘em. . .

Hip, hip hooray! Oh, glorious day!

Mr. A, you rock that beard, I have to say.

When we first caught a glimpse of The Hirsuteness

Bearded Beauty extraordinaire,

what gorgeousness was there!

What a sexy, sexy beast we saw in you, my dearest Armitage . . .

At that table you dominated,

For your words our breath was bated,

as we waited, anticipated the Bearded Beaut.

(You sexy brut!)

Still, just watching gave us pleasure—

The Little Black Shirt encased our Biceped Treasure

Sitting so still and so attentive as others chattered.

 

 

And when your question came,

(darling girl, why a query so—lame??)

Sexy Rich, you did not disappoint us.

Deep blue eyes flashed ‘neath bold brows

Deep, dark voice, tinged with a growl!

White teeth gleamed–that wolfish smile–

Crinkled brow, that teasing style—

Hearts palpitated for quite a while . . .

 

 

The Bearded Beaut, a bit flirtatious,

a bit sarcastic, a little dang’rous,

You proved your point, proved it so well—

Such gravitas! Such—regal-ness—

You owned the room,

You wowed the geeks! They must confess . . .

That PJ’s Pick has the finesse

To strut his stuff (OMG, you’re really BUFF! But I digress . . .)

As alpha dwarf, you’ll reign supreme!

The finest dwarf Middle-Earth’s ever seen.

O Bearded One, you I adore,

And when you shave that chin once more

And bid farewell to your lovely beard,

Many will likely feel a little blue, ‘tis true,

For the beard has grown on us,

As well as you.

(But it looks better on you . . .)

So, dear readers, how about you? Looking forward to the return of plentiful facial hair, or dreading it? “Meh” about the whole thing or happy to see him in any state of hirsuteness (or lack thereof)? Do tell!

Related articles

• Beards are Healthy, Says Science (esquire.com)

Sunday Spotlight: Bill Chatford of “Malice Aforethought”

In 2005 ITV aired the 1920’s period thriller Malice Aforethought, based on the 1931 novel of the same name by Frances Iles.  Richard plays the supporting role of solicitor Bill Chatford. Bill returns from his honeymoon with his pretty wife Ivy (Lucy Brown), only to discover she was the village physician Dr. Bickleigh’s mistress before their marriage.

Bickleigh (Ben Miller) whose own wife is a harpy several years his senior, has a dilemma.  His current amour, Madeleine, wants a ring on her finger and will not settle for being the other woman. And so he plots to poison the wife.

This isn’t a murder mystery, as there is never any doubt “whodunit.” But will Bickleigh get away with it? Or will Bill, who is suspicious of the circumstances surrounding the death of the doctor’s wife, get the evidence to prove Bickleigh’s guilt? Will there be more victims?

Ivy (Lucy Brown) and Bill, played by RA, at a tennis party early in the film.

While Bill glowers and sneers a fair amount of the time, we also get some of those lovely smiles.

The Case of the Suspicious Solicitor: Bill (RA) is certain his wife's former lover has been up to no good. But can he prove it?

Cover of Mystery: Malice Aforethought

As Richard himself says, there is a thread of dark humor (dark humor, I like) running through the production, and Ben Miller is particularly good in the role of the womanizing murderer. You will also recognize the lovely actress Lucy Brown, who played Ann Latimer in N&S, as Ivy.  Bill may be, as Richard describes the character,  a “misogynistic cad,”  but he sure looks swell in his tennis whites. He wears a thin mustache and frequently bears a resemblance to Guy in a definitely disdainful mood.

I always seem to enjoy period mysteries/thrillers/dramas like this. MA offers a literate script, talented cast, lovely 20’s-era costumes and a glimpse of a time long past of garden parties, games of croquet and lawn tennis in a charming English village. MA is available on DVD on both Region 1 and Region 2 formats and I believe it is also available through Netflix.
(screencaps courtesy of RANet)

Bill is disturbed by a terrible tummy ache in the middle of the night. Is something he ate? Or are more sinister forces at work?